You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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