it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
