Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Randomize
