Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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