okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
