5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
