used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
