Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
