i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The Olympian is in my bed
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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