She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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