how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize