I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
