Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize