3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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