new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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