Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
