Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
