Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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