He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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