You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
