Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
