Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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