Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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