Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize