There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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