your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
