well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
