I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
