In the future we'll all be gay
I'm gonna have a badass scar
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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