Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
