You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
