do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
