Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
