What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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