i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
