from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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