Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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