Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
