We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
