Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
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I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
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DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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