theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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