I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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