I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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