he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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