its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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