I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
