Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
