His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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