Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
