Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize