You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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