My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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