I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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