okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
