glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
