Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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