Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The Olympian is in my bed
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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