You're so nebulous sometimes
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
