I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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