Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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