So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
