anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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