Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
