you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
