just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
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You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
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I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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