I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
