Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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